The Complete Alternative Series
by Quik1
Summary: just read and review, eh?
1. Default Chapter

...Or How Joss Whedon Does Indeed Run The Universe  
  
Author: Quik  
  
Rating: PG-13, for language for now E-mail: kiddou@hotmail.com Genre: Angel the Series, starting during Season Three Acknowledgements: Joss Whedon owns them all; I'm just playing with the dolls and I promise to put them back later. Warning: This story contains a little self-insertion. I've made myself a lot better than I actually am! Also this will likely be a long series.  
  
Ever say something completely off base and immediately think to yourself, 'I really shouldn't have said that. Man, am I ever dumb.' And in my really weak defense, all I said was " I could do a better job than Joss." Famous last words and that's where it all started I guess.  
  
I was at a party in Japan, talking with Anna, a new friend who, like me was addicted to Buffy and Angel, the tv shows. Anna is a HUGE Spike fan who has been enjoying the tentative romance between Angel and Cordy. I, on the other hand, am a diehard Willow and Angel shipper. I had been steadily seducing Anna to my view of things by introducing her to what I consider the best pieces of fan fiction anywhere; Medea's Masters and Minions series and Carrie's It's About Time Series.  
  
Sorry, I digress a lot. Have patience; I'm getting somewhere. Anyways, Anna and I met once a week, indulging in our habit of watching old Buffy and Angel episodes. Then we would dissect it and stuff. I loved it! Oh yeah, what were we doing in Japan? We both were Assistant English teachers, working with the JET program.{Insert promo for JET program}. I really enjoyed my work, but after 2 years it was time to go home. Sorry, I digressed again. Where was I? Oh yeah, party.  
  
But this one week we decided to go to a party instead of staying home, choosing to publicly expose our mutual obsession with two tv shows. In other words, the party was boring. Now for those of you who don't live overseas, maybe I should explain how difficult it is to keep up an obsession with a TV show if the country only has rights to season four Buffy, ack!, and season one Angel.  
  
You have no choice; you must become a 'net fiend. You feverishly check out sites that might have any news/gossip/conspiracy theories about what's going on. Pysche's transcripts site is bookmarked along with UPN's official Buffy site, the WB's Angel page, and my personal favourite, cityof angel.com, because it gives picture, reviews and mini transcripts to episodes in the current season as they are aired.  
  
Yeah, you become a bit of a freak. But I digress..  
  
And since this was right about after that disastrous episode in season three where Angel nearly strangles Wesley in the hospital and there were many, accurate as it turns out, rumours flying through cyberspace that Willow was going to end the world over Tara, yours truly was seriously upset with Mr. Joss Whedon. Ok, I was pissed and truly wanted to grab him by the short and curlies and hurt him. Badly.  
  
Anna was handling it much better than I was.  
  
" Argh! I can't believe it! Isn't it getting old? I mean, c'mon. aren't we having a bit too much I am the chosen one, oops sorry, the Warrior one ethics in good, ole Hell LA? I mean, Angel's not even trying to understand Wesley's position. And if he did, just smidge, Angel would realise that both he and Wesley are being played! Moreover, that Wesley didn't just , dumdy dumdy dum pass Connor over to Justine! He had to have his throat slit before losing grip of the baby," I griped.  
  
I sighed. "If only someone would could get through to Angel.", I meandered. Than I gathered myself together and pounced for my next argument.  
  
" Honestly, Anna, Joss is obviously getting in a slump. I mean, it looks like he's using Willow, again!,to liven up an otherwise truly wretched season of Buffy. I swear everytime he can't think of a good idea to keep the season going, he says 'Willow's going to be evil this episode!'. Why is it that Xander is never blamed for his idioticies, but everyone freaks and guilt trips Willow whenever she steps out of line or makes the smallest mistake? And the villians this season soooo suck." I moaned.  
  
" Well, I'm inclined to agree with you. But yesterday, I was thinking. What if this season isn't about the three geeks in the basement? What if, instead, Joss is carefully detailing to us the slow descent of Willow from cheerful, do-gooder and Scoobie, to the enemy? Wouldn't that be of interest?" asked Anna.  
  
Pause.  
  
" I hate you Anna. That actually makes sense. And worse, it could work. Sigh. But I still think I could do a better job than Joss."  
  
And that was the last time I saw Anna for a long time.  
  
It's a cliché, but I groaned when I came to. Blinking in the blinding, white light/mist, I could hear nothing. No wind, no chimes, nada. I groped my way to a standing position, looking around me. Strangely, though, I don't remember being panicked or frightened by my departure from Japan to where ever the heck I was. I actually remember feeling at peace, totally calm.  
  
Look, before we go on, you need to know that I'm not particularly interested in any organised religion, Christian or not. I'm much more into looking around, praising everything I see that's good and trying to help change that which is disturbing to me and others. I figure that way, the Great Bird of the Galaxy and I will remain good friends, and I won't feel repulsed by life, or rather what we humans do with it. End of religious statement. Which is why what happened next is so surprising.  
  
I heard a voice. It surrounded me, much like the light and the mist. Once again I wish to state, I was not afraid nor did I feel threatened.  
  
" You have spoken and been heard. We have heard the prayers of our Warrior. Since our Warrior is in need, and since none else of our messengers, no not even the Powers That Be, are willing to aid him, we must send you."  
  
" Huh?! Warrior? Do you mean Angel?" I asked, a bit nervous. Oh dear, what had I done?! Had I learned nothing from Cordy, Anyaka and the wishes?! Always watch what you say! I know better than this. I bit my lower lip.  
  
"The Warrior must be righted and set upon the path again. Else all is lost. Your first task..  
  
" Wait a second! Who are you?" I demanded, " And where are you? How'd you get me here? Where is here?"  
  
The mist and the light dissolved, until I found myself standing on the beach. Not just any beach, but New River Beach, a place full of fond memories of summer fun, not that far from my home. Usually, it's very busy, but now it was empty, in spite of the lovely sunny day. I shivered.  
  
"Is that better?" inquired The Voice, "We do not wish to frighten or alarm. Very well? Excellent. We are God. Or if you prefer, We are the Goddess."  
  
Oh, boy.  
  
The Voice continued, " You, Lisa, out of everyone, in any timeline or dimension, are the only one with the strength, ability and, yes desire to help our Warrior in his time of need."  
  
" Huh?!!!"  
  
Patiently, or rather doggedly, the Voice continued.  
  
" Will you help our Warrior is his time of need? The child, Connor, must be returned to his father, or else the Warrior will lose his way forever. All creation will suffer."  
  
Now just so you know my state of mind at this point, I figured I was dreaming. Somebody back at the party must have accidentally walked into me/ hit me over the head with a 2x4. I must have been unconscious and I was so obviously dreaming. Angel? Need me? It was a tv show, for Pete's sake! Not real. So I had to be dreaming.  
  
Shrugging my shoulders, but thoroughly intrigued, I chose to be bold. " Sure. Why not?" 


	2. When you are up to your ass in alligator...

Chapter 2:It's easier to drain the swamp when you aren't up to your ass in alligators  
  
Author: Quik Rating: PG-13, for language still. Genre: Angel the Series, Season Three. Before "A New World". Completely AU. Dedication: To Anna, the world's bravest beta reader. She reads my trite loooongg before it's ready to be seen by anyone. Thanks Anna.  
  
" Then you will help?" asked the Voice.  
  
Scratching my head, I quickly enquired, "What exactly are we talking about here?"  
  
"Our immediate wishes are to return the Child to his rightful father and thus avert danger. In the long term, we wish you to tie yourself, your life to our Warrior's."  
  
" Say what?! Uh-uh. No way. I'll get Connor, that's ok. I can do that, I think. But tying my life to Angel's would be silly. Besides, what in heck does he need me for?"  
  
" Usually, a Warrior is assigned a guardian, someone who will watch, guard, protect and maintain the Warrior on the right path. The Vampire with a soul, Angel, has currently been without a guardian for two years."  
  
I thought briefly about that. "Doyle," I whispered.  
  
" Correct. However, with Doyle's death, our usual list of candidates that we would send as a replacement refused to take a post. Most have decided either that Angel never did deserve a second chance in spite of his soul or that there is little point in giving up their lives and training for a vampire." explained the Voice.  
  
" When we realised this, we chose to allow Cordelia to inherit, as it were, the gifts that Doyle brought to Angel and his quest. We fully believed that she was capable of carrying on Doyle's duties."  
  
" But.," I prompted.  
  
" But at a price. The Powers That Be, our servant, has already claimed the life of Cordelia to their service. And now, they are of the opinion that it is time for Cordelia to move onto other things."  
  
Musing about how a servant of God could tell God to take a hike, I let myself get sidetracked. Thinking about the matter at hand, i.e. becoming Angel's guardian , I realised I couldn't possibly ever do a better job than Cordy. Angel and Cordy have worked out their relationship. Even if it does give me the dry heaves, Cordy is.ulp.good for Angel.  
  
Look, no offence to those diehard Angel and Cordy fans out there, but I really don't care for Cordy. It's because she was such an awful bitch in high school and stayed that way until a demon drove her comatose from the pain of her visions. I remember girls like her from my high school days, and can still after seven years, say that I wish several plagues on them. Being a teenager is hard enough without having to deal with the Queen C's of the world. I mean, I would have understood if she became less of a self centred brat after she got the visions from Doyle, but like Buffy, she just kept complaining about them until she really suffered from them. Now there are some out there who will argue that this is what makes Cordy and Angel such a good pair; they both have done some pretty nasty mental shit to people out there and they both want to help now. Cordy, like Angel, had to get something attached to her, something completely foreign, before she chose to change. But personally, I think Angel shouldn't be involved with anyone for a while. I think he really needs to learn some balance on his own. And when he does get involved with someone, I think it should be a challenge for him. Cause lets face it, nabbing a sixteen year old rebelling against being a slayer and a twenty-one year old who sees a relationship as a bit of one upmanship against a high school rival, isn't really that difficult.  
  
In short, I think Doyle had a point; Cordy was and still is a bit jealous about Buffy and Angel.  
  
But I digress..  
  
While I applaud that she did chose to change and she doesn't bitch as much as the Slayer, there is a resentful and cynical piece of me that yammers that it's only a matter of time before the new Cordelia, like Willow, is sent down her own dark path. In fact I can see shades of it in her taking Angel's side, instead of trying to help everyone, including Wesley. Oh, yeah Joss Whedon is sooo predictable.  
  
But, again, I digress.  
  
Shaking my wandering thoughts from my head, and focusing on something I always thought was a problem in the Buffy/Angelverse, I demanded, "So then, you want me to stay there and keep Angel on the right path. What happens if you and I disagree over what's the right path?"  
  
"Pardon?," said the confused Voice.  
  
" Look if you're God, then on Angel's behalf, I've got a huge bone to pick with you. To start, don't you think that giving a vampire, any vampire, a soul is morally wrong? I don't much care what the Kalendash clan argued to you; killing Angelus would have been better than giving him a soul, especially since he can always revert to type! Yeah, ok it caused Angel a whack of pain and makes him act like a whipped puppy. But clearly, it also drove Angelus completely insane. Who would want to suck the world into hell? What purpose would it serve to go from being the King of the Predators, The Scourge of Europe to become nothing more than a demon's lackey?! Or how about getting Whistler to tell Angel before losing his soul that there was a loophole? Or what about.  
  
"This is precisely why you would excel as Angel's guardian. You should think about it," interrupted the Voice. " You must act quickly. You must retrieve the Child before the Warrior resorts to magic. This will not be easy. Then, you must show our Warrior the truth."  
  
" The truth?" I asked, fuming a little at the bit. Not to downplay God, and hey I was working on his/her say so, but I got the distinct impression I was being a bit shoved out the door and on my merry-superhero way.  
  
Rapidly, I saw images of what I can only hope was a potential future. Wesley sleeping with Lilah.(oh, eww). Justine killing Holtz, trying again to pull the wool over the AI gang's eyes. I saw Angel losing his support network, starting with Lorne and going from there. But worse than all of this, I saw two stubborn people, destined and called to fight for the light, who were ultimately unable to. They couldn't work together; the vampire with his soul and his son. The one never able to get over his monster issues, the other unwilling to ever accept what he was. As such, they lost their first true battle against the coming apocalypse. I saw the ripples in the time and other dimensions that signalled the End of Days. But it wasn't just the end for us petty inhabitants of this rock; it was the end for all life.  
  
Gasping for air and a little disorientated, I asked one last question.  
  
"Can you get me to Quor-Toth?"  
  
Did I mention I should watch what I say? Cause, yet again, I was hit with disorientation. No blinding light though. In fact, it was pitch dark out. As my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, I realised I was in a jungle. There were lots of trees and hanging vines, the air was so moist and hot. This was worse than Japan at the height of summer. I was immediately soaked. I was also feeling a bit like a cliché. Loud roars from creatures that I was certain I didn't want to ever encounter pierced the night. I was also getting the creepy vibe that I was being watched.  
  
Stiffening, and wondering with a little grim amusement what I had gotten myself into now, I noticed I wasn't alone.  
  
Not that far from me was a slender, wiry young boy. He couldn't have been anything more than thirteen years old. Good, I thought to myself, I still have a little spare time. As far as I could recall, the promos to the next episode of Angel had him looking a few years older. I had found him and I had some time to convince him to visit his real father.  
  
Sitting in a clearing, near a cliff, Connor was gazing into the night sky. From his viewpoint, he would have been able to see everything from miles around him. I wondered to myself if he had his mother's affection for views from heights. I noted though, his head titled frequently, from steadily looking out, towards the horizon to the magnificence of the cosmos above him. So, he was a stargazer too. Since his back was to me, I could see the genetic echoes of Angel too. Connor's shoulders, while thin, nearly had the width across that Angel's had. Even in the poor light, I noted too, that while his hair wasn't as dark as Angel's, it was still brown.  
  
He also appeared to be.ahem.brooding.  
  
Oh, yeah this was Angel's kid all right. But what on earth would a thirteen- year-old boy be brooding about? I cannot tell a lie, dear reader. I smirked. I knew this one: families. Which would give me the perfect opportunity to segue into, and I hesitate to say this, God's plan - getting Connor home to his father and then working on the Master Brooder himself. So, making a lot of noise leaving the trees, I stepped out to the clearing and asked,  
  
"Whatcha thinking about kid?"  
  
I've never seen anybody turn their head that fast. Clearly, while he must have heard me approach, he wasn't expecting to see me.  
  
He jumped to his feet quickly and had something sharp against my throat before I could blink. I then did the only thing I could.  
  
" Eeek!!! Woah, kid there's no need to be threatening me. I come in peace," I ejaculated while slowly raising my arms and hands to show I meant no harm.  
  
"Who are you?! Did my dad send you?," spat out Connor.  
  
"Calm down kid, your dad didn't send me," I replied. Well, he didn't technically. God sent me on his behalf. But my Mom raised me to be polite; there would be no conversations of God until we at least got to the name stage.  
  
" My name's Lisa, but friends call me Lee." Reader, you have know idea how difficult it was not to pull a cryptic act and do a tongue in cheek, 'I'm a friend' routine.  
  
"Stephen."  
  
Feeling a bit like Alice, but sticking to Mom's regime, I parroted back to him, with a grin, "Nice to meet you, Stephen. So, what were you thinking about?"  
  
Keep in mind, Stephen/Connor still had the sharp pointy thing against my throat. At my question, though, he relaxed his pressure against my throat's skin. He muttered something unintelligible, his gaze moving to the ground as his shoulders hunched themselves inwards. If he had pockets to his furs, he really truly would have been the spitting image of his dad playing wounded puppy.  
  
" I'm sorry; I didn't catch what you were saying." I prompted him.  
  
Growling a bit, as he flung himself down on the ground, he loudly proclaimed, " I said I was thinking about my parents."  
  
YES! I don't have to start that conversation!  
  
" And they are?" I asked.  
  
Biting his lip, looking sullen, but unable to look me in the eye, he asked me, tentatively, " Do you know what vampires are? "  
  
It was amazing. I could feel everything that he was; all of his anger, his distrust, and his fear. He was terrified to tell me that he was the child of two vampires. And I could feel it.  
  
Reaching out to him, gently raising his chin with one finger, I made contact with those brown eyes of his, but sidestepped his question a little bit. "Yes, I know about vampires. They drink blood, preferably human. They are part of the night, since they catch on fire in sunlight. They can be killed with a stake to the heart, sunlight, decapitation, fire and holy water. They also don't like Christian crosses." Shrugging my shoulders, and striving to be casual, I questioned him, " What of them?"  
  
He took a deep breath and keeping eye contact, he said, "Both of my parents are vampires. They weren't just any vampires either. Once, along time ago, they used to be known as the Scourge of Europe. When I was a baby, my dad took me from them. He says he did it because I am human and shouldn't have been left in the care of demons that are the natural enemies of anything good, pure and human. He says, someday when I'm grown up, I'll go back and kill all the demons. That I will be a Warrior for the good."  
  
Biting his lip again and struggling mentally as to whether he should go on, he eventually gave in and spilled out in a whisper, "But lately, if I ask questions, dad says..dad says that I'm becoming more and more like them. That if I keep asking too many questions, I will become a monster, evil, like them. I just want to know."  
  
THAT FUCKER!!!! Pardon my French. I'm gonna kill that arrogant worm!  
  
"C'mere, Stephen." Opening my arms, stretching them out to him, I beckoned him to me. To my surprise, he came into my arms willingly. I held him in a hug, as I rocked him back and forth. Gulping back tears of sympathy and rage, I asked him, " What is it you want to know, Stephen? I mean, your parents don't know me personally, but I've been watching them, for oh, about seven years now. I can probably answer more questions then your dad can."  
  
"Can I. will I become them?," he stammered. He felt surprised that I knew of them but his curiosity about his parents out won everything else. "Stephen, you can't become a vampire unless you're drained of most of your own blood and then drink theirs."  
  
" I know that! But what about becoming evil, a demon ..", he snapped.  
  
"No. Not possible." Tilting his head, I looked him in the eye. Keeping eye contact would be very important for this part of the conversation. He needed to know that I was speaking truth. "Your dad is right; you will someday be a Warrior for the Light. But that will be because you chose to help people, regardless of what they are. Your father, Angel, he helps people now, because he wants to redeem himself."  
  
" What does redeem mean?" interrupted Stephen.  
  
" It means that you father now fights evil back on Earth in L.A. to make up for all the bad and evil things he did in his past."  
  
Chewing this over, Stephen/Connor bravely stumbled, "And what about Darla, my.my mother?"  
  
"Darla is no more. Vampires aren't built to be able to give birth to human babies, sweetie. They just aren't capable of it. Your Mom loved you more than anything. She said to your Father that you were the one thing that they ever did right, ever did good together. Then, your Mom pushed a stake through her heart so that you might be born. Darla knew your Father would willingly walk through fire and sunlight combined for you."  
  
"Really?!", he asked incredulously.  
  
" Yeah, really. I don't think I ever saw anyone be so crazy about a baby as Angel was about you. For instance, he's always been ashamed to show his demon face to others, especially humans. But sometimes when you cried as a baby."  
  
"He would let his true face slip.," finished Stephen /Connor. He felt excited.  
  
Amazed, I inquired, " Yeah, that's right. It kept you calm. How did you know that kid?"  
  
"When I was younger, I used to dream about being warm and safe in a monster's arms. I guess it wasn't a dream but it was a memory. I remember feeling happy in those dreams."  
  
" I'm glad." Being a bit curious myself, I asked him, " How old are you kid?"  
  
"I have ten summers. Dad says I'm growing fast."  
  
"So is there anything else do you want to know about your parents?"  
  
"I guess I don't have a family, do I?" Surprised, I said, " How would you describe a family, kid?"  
  
" Dad says there has to be a Mom and a Dad living in the same house. They all have to be humans. That Moms take care of the kids, and Dads do the real work."  
  
I managed, I think, to cover my laughter, with coughing. The idiot misogynist!!!  
  
"Well, I'm sorry to say this,{NOT!}, but I think I'm gonna have to disagree with your Dad. When I was a little girl, my dad didn't live with us, my Mom, my brother and I, until I was about your age. But Mom, Ashley and I were family before that, you know."  
  
Becoming more serious, I told him, "But you do have family back on Earth. Your father works with a bunch of people, humans, who think of you as their child. There's Gunn who is a vampire hunter like your Dad, Cordy who gets visions of the future to help your Father fight evil, Fred a physicist that your Father rescued from another dimension, Lorne who gives your Father advice and Wesley who is a demon hunter. All of these people consider you family, kiddo!"  
  
"Really?" He was so super happy!  
  
"Yep! Anything else?"  
  
"Do you think I'll ever see my Father again?"  
  
"Oh, I hope so kiddo. In fact can I be honest with you, Stephen?"  
  
" What does that mean?"  
  
" It means can I say something to you that you may not want to hear. I want you to listen to what I have to say, first. If you don't like it or you don't agree, I want you to really think hard about it. And then if you still don't like what I've said to you, then you can tell me so ok?" I explained to him.  
  
" Ok, I can do that. I promise." He said eagerly.  
  
"Well, I don't know," I drawled, scratching my head. "It's an awful hard promise to keep. I mean even adults have trouble keeping that promise. Some adults never even try."  
  
"I can! I can!" He yelled to me.  
  
"Your father, Angel, he works for the Powers that Be. Do you know what the Powers are?"  
  
"No."  
  
" Okay, the Powers kind of keep an eye on things; they tell your father, through Cordy's visions, when there is trouble and who to help. But the Powers aren't God, ok kiddo? "  
  
"Uh-huh"  
  
"Ok, here's the deal. Since you were taken from your father, he's been trying everything he can to get you back. But soon he's gonna do something that may end up hurting a lot of people. So the Powers have kind of sent me to take you back to him before he does it."  
  
Breathing deeply, praying that this kid wouldn't go ballistic, I asked him, "Would you mind coming with me Con.I mean Stephen?"  
  
He looked back at me piercingly and moved back out of my arms. He stood up and gave me a hand up.  
  
"When do we leave?"  
  
"We can go right now. See there's the portal to LA, right behind you."  
  
Taking a breath, he replied, " I wanna go now. Will you come with me?"  
  
YES YES YES YES!!!!  
  
Grinning at him, I said, "Try and stop me."  
  
One alligator down, tons more to go I thought to myself. 


End file.
